Written in September as I became fed up with the “new normal” and the sudden judgement and fear. I felt the safest I’ve ever felt during lockdown going to work every day in hospitals during the pandemic. Now I feel debilitating fear in crowded places and paranoid about judgement from others whenever I’m socialising even though I know I’m following the rules and being extra cautious.
During covid we saw the best and the worst of humanity. We saw those from busy deprived areas who didn’t look after themselves dying – young and old. We saw the businesses grind to a halt. We celebrated small businesses and NHS workers and military organisation. People worked hard from home. People worked hard in shops. People had a purpose. I saw both sides – the devastation in Nottingham A&E, the devastation in Nottingham psychiatry hopsitals. I moved to Dorset full of hope and I found it. I found it in making cups of tea for old ladies and fighting for the little guy. Broken wrist? It’s a risk but we’ll fix it – then with 3 months in a community hospital plus sepsis she’s home with her daughter. She also liked her tea strong and hot and not too milky. Her mum is a nursing colleague of mine and is chuffed to bits. I now see mistakes everywhere. Old lady deaf and blind with conjunctivitis in pain and distress – rubs prune on her face to relieve the pain. Labelled as shingles +/- bacteria and started on strong antibiotics. Worried about family at home – doesn’t need to be in hospital. Old man bored wants a crossword or TV to watch. Community medicine and community spirit is important to the running of hospitals. The staff are tired of working 60-90 hours week in week out unable to work from home.
Kindness costs nothing 💙
Storms don’t last forever but mental and physical scars might 🌦️
Just tri'ing my best 